The Balancing Act of a Parent
This balancing act of being a parent is like watching your heart balancing on a tightrope with no safety net and the internal debate of laying down cotton wool or letting it reach the other side.
J has hypermobility as well as playing catch up on gross motor skills delay. He falls, this is a common occurrence in J’s life and something that fills me with guilt on a regular basis. Although at times my heart has been in my throat watching him on things in the park or at home, I have been very firm with myself to not let him see limitations and restrictions and to just be there to catch him if he falls. – there is also the likelihood we are going to have the same issue with hypermobility with Ro as well.
Since starting school, he has climbed mountains with confidence and his delay is shrinking. The school has been fantastic with the support. He isn’t one of these children that cry or whine very much at all, hes my brave little cookie but this comes with a drawback. He falls, gets up and keeps going, and doesn’t tell anyone hes hurt himself, so no one would know hes hurt.
It has become a weekly occurrence that he comes home with scrapes, grazes or bruises on his legs or arms from falls, but they tend to be small ones. When we ask if he has told anyone he got hurt, he always says he just got up, was brave, didn’t cry and most concerning didn’t tell a teacher it happened. We have asked him time and time again, that if he falls and is hurt he needs to tell a teacher so they can just make sure all is ok.
Today he came home from school to tell me he had been brave and had fallen but kept playing and didn’t cry. I noticed he had a slight graze on the side of his hand, and asked if he told a teacher which I got the normal reply of No. It wasn’t until bath time I seen the extent of his grazes on his knees and leg and it had to of been uncomfortable for him as he did slightly complain the water was hurting.
So now here lies my dilemma…
How do I get him to tell teachers if hes hurt? My normal methods of getting him to do something don’t really cut it, I can’t really do a reward chart or incentive which involves him hurting himself, and as much as I want to wrap him in cotton wool, I can’t knock his determination and confidence.
Is it because he doesn’t want a fuss made of it because it happens often? Doesn’t want to be singled out at school around his peers? Or something else that I cant think of as I’m trying to put an adult thought process to reasoning of a 5 year old?
I have no idea what I’m going to do about this just now, but all i know is I’m going to let school know tomorrow but if they aren’t told and he just falls and plays how is anyone going to know ?
Why don’t children come with manuals !