Supporting through Miscarriage – Please don’t tell me that.
In that single moment when you find out you have lost your tiny baby growing inside of you, is devastating. Your world feels like it’s been shattered into a million pieces and you feel along.
When you find the strength to talk about what you are going through, it can be met with some kind-hearted but ill thought out comments of support. Those words can actually achieve the opposite.
Supporting through Miscarriage – Please don’t tell me
Miscarriage is so emotionally painful and isolating, not to mention the physical pain. Talking about it is hard but a step in the right direction. Sadly miscarriage is still hidden and seems to still be a taboo subject, so when a friend reaches out, knowing what to say is hard. I get that but really it’s more about being there to listen, lean on and a support.
Just please don’t:
- Tell me I’m still young and have time. How do you know?
- Tell me it’s common or spout statistics. I’m not a statistic, it’s happening to me right now and it’s hell.
- Tell me there was probably something wrong with the baby. It will make me feel even more defective.
- Say that it will be ok next time. How do you know there will be a next time?
- It just wasn’t meant to be. It was a life I was growing, not a lottery ticket or a job interview.
We know it happens, most people didn’t even know we were pregnant . We knew there was a possibility but that horrible possibility has just came to be.
Just be there, listen, help me grieve and don’t expect me to be strong. Also bring chocolate, lots of chocolate.