Bringing home J after months in the hospital, I had a vague idea to what the day-to-day life would be like to start with, given a summary of things, signs to look out for and follow appointments scheduled. Attending development reviews and consultant appointments, going through the motions and watching development like a hawk until we finally got the news he was discharged. Though I found out a part of being a premmie mum is, the watching and worrying about development doesn’t end there.
Is it because of Prematurity? A question I ask myself often.
There has been a few things recently that has made me think, is this going on it because of his prematurity or is it just typical development for his age. When he started school they identified some delay with his social/emotional development as well as some gross motor skills. It wasn’t surprising as he didn’t develop the co-ordination to jump or throw and catch a ball until he was around 4. His school was great and put in a plan to support his development, which he came on leaps and strides.
J is being led a little, not quite getting the way friendships work, and he is a little awkward socially. From what he has told me, there is some kids that could be taking advantage of that and it’s upsetting him. On Friday he told me of another incident that has happened, but he didn’t raise it with anyone but it clearly had upset him. This made me think, is it because of his social/emotional development or is it just due to his personality and sensitive nature.
He is now 6, he is doing great generally and as a mum, when things happen you do question why it’s happening. If there was something that we could have done differently or if it’s just a part of growing up. As a premmie mum I find myself adding the question, is it anything to do with his prematurity? I don’t know if that question will ever leave my mind when we come up against things like this and I don’t know the answer or even if there is one.
We have agreed a little just Mum and J time each day to discuss what has happened in the day good and bad, and talk about everything, in a hope it helps.
Since the day he was born, I have always said, if he has struggles or delays, it isn’t about what he struggles with but being able to put any support in place to help him work with his abilities so he can reach everything he dreams of. That is all that matters and this latest incidents is no different , normal or not to focus on the positives and build on those.
I was told the journey of a premmie mum was a rollercoaster, but who knew I would still be riding it 6 years on.
Read about J’s journey here.