My Mental Health Bucket Overflowed - FI

My Mental Health Bucket Overflowed – Mental Health Awareness Week

Mental Health Awareness week’s focus this year is on Stress. Stress can have an impact on you at anytime and sometimes it can hit when everything seems to be finally going right. Like what happened in my case. With mental health it is always good to talk, so although it is a very personal thing for me I wanted to share my experience.

I see your mental health like a bucket, it stores everything you push aside and at times it can become too full.


My Mental Health Bucket Overflowed


When we finally got to bring J home and got settled, I thought everything would be how I dreamed. Finally a family at home, everything was on the up, but it didn’t work that way for me. Once everything was sorted, it didn’t go the way I thought and my mental health declined. I couldn’t understand why I was feeling the way I was, everything was good, everyone safe at home. So I kept questioning why, telling myself I shouldn’t be feeling this way. I battled through and just got on with everything pushing it to the side.

It wasn’t until a couple of years later that I talked about it all, and realised actually it is completely Ok that I was feeling the way I was. By not opening up and talking about it earlier it affected all aspects of my life to too long. Once everything was settled my mental health bucket overflowed.

A lot going on

Back in 2010, when I found out I was pregnant with J, I was worried I would miscarry again. I couldn’t convince myself that this time would be any different to the past 15 times. Each morning I would look for bleeding, worry over any twinge or pain. Luckily he seemed to stick and grow after a few scares.  I set myself little goals to get past to help me cope mentally. This did help me, but also had me counting the days. I promised myself that I would relax once we reached 24 weeks.

Once we hit 24 weeks I couldn’t relax as I found out I was in labour and there was a risk he would be born so very early. The stays in hospital, procedures and monitoring all paid off but I was a nervous wreak. I knew he was going to come early and I tried to prepare myself, though can you ever be prepared to see your baby be born so soon?

After a couple of weeks of worrying that labour would start again, it did. A few days later J was born.  All the emotions of his birth and what happened rolled into the days sitting beside the incubator willing him to fight. The set backs and moves forward until the time he was to be moved to a local hospital. My days had focus and routine, although I had a few moments of tears and little breakdowns I thought I was coping.

Then came the news I could finally bring him home, we could be a family. It was single most happiest and scariest day of my life. Getting on a plane to come to the UK on my own had nothing on the fear factor of bring him home. I finally had my baby home.

Then it Hit.

What I didn’t appreciate at the time is the huge amount I had been going through, and I focused on staying strong for J, Dave and Tony. I didn’t consider the impact to me. All this on top of the stresses of life, work, finances was just too much. Yes I should have been happy. Everything was going good and I finally had my baby I had been dreaming of. I wasn’t and simply put, my mental health bucket overflowed, and I know how it was Ok to feel like this.

Take time for you, your mental health is a key element of your health.  If you start to feel not right, don’t bury or push it to one side, it’s Ok to feel like that.

5 tips When Visiting Alton Towers FI

 5 Tips When Visiting Alton Towers and the Weather isn’t on Your Side


On the weekend we went to Alton Towers, a trip we had planned back in February. As the weekend approached the constant weather watching started. It wasn’t looking good, with rain showers all day and a feels like temperature of around 5 degrees. A cold and wet 2 and 7 year old didn’t fit in our planning equation. Continue reading ” 5 Tips When Visiting Alton Towers and the Weather isn’t on Your Side”

Family Days Out - Legoland Discovery Centre Manchester - fi

Family Days Out – Legoland Discovery Centre Manchester

One of our favourite places to visit is Legoland Discovery Centre. J is completely Lego (and in particular Ninjago) mad. With the school holidays approaching and a variety of ways to get discounted tickets, it’s a fun day out for all the family. – Lets face it you never really grow out of Lego do you !

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Healthy and Easy Thick Minestrone Recipe - FI

Healthy and Easy Thick Minestrone Recipe

One of my downfalls when trying to lose weight is finding something quick, easy and healthy at the end of a long day. The slow cooker has become my best friend over the winter, as well as frozen veg. You can chuck all ingredients in and cook while spending time with the kids or while you’re at work.  With 15 minutes prep time here is my Healthy Easy Thick Minestrone Recipe.

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how to make a quick and easy pouch liner for a phone or tablet

How to Make a Quick and Easy Pouch Liner For a Phone or Tablet


I haven’t been posting much on my crafts recently, as the time that I have been making anything has been quite late at night, so photos just haven’t been much of an option. I have been making myself a crochet bag and pouches for both my 2 in 1 laptop and tablet.  Once I had finished crocheting them, to both add some added structure and protection I decided to make a liner out of fabric. Continue reading “How to Make a Quick and Easy Pouch Liner For a Phone or Tablet”

Merlin Annual Pass Weighing up the pros and cons

Merlin Annual Pass Weighing Up the Pros and Cons

On Saturday, we were deciding where to go to have a family day out. The park was out of question as it the weather was not good. While googling for ideas, one thing that came up was SeaLife and Legoland discovery at the Trafford Centre. When I went to see how much it would cost to visit, I seen the January sale on Merlin Annual Passes. We had been contemplating getting passes ever since we visited Alton Towers a few years ago.  So I weighed up the pros and cons again and decided after doing so to get the family the pass. Continue reading “Merlin Annual Pass Weighing Up the Pros and Cons”

Is it Because of Prematurity? A Question I Ask Myself Often

Bringing home J after months in the hospital, I had a vague idea to what the day-to-day life would be like to start with, given a summary of things, signs to look out for and follow appointments scheduled. Attending development reviews and consultant appointments, going through the motions and watching development like a hawk until we finally got the news he was discharged.  Though I found out a part of being a premmie mum is, the watching and worrying about development doesn’t end there. Continue reading “Is it Because of Prematurity? A Question I Ask Myself Often”

How to Make Easy Jumping Clay Tree Decorations. FI

How to Make Easy Jumping Clay Tree Decorations.

Our tree is up and it’s time to crack on with the Christmas decorations. This morning we made some tree decorations out of Jumping Clay. With a 20 month old, the tree is an attractive *toy* so I wanted some decorations that wouldn’t be damaged if she pulled them off and played with them. So with some Jumping Clay, phone charm attachments and cookie cutters the kids and I made some tree decorations. Here is how you could make them too.

Continue reading “How to Make Easy Jumping Clay Tree Decorations.”