Recently I have found it hard to write, my mind not quite in the right head space to put pen to paper so to speak. On the 16th, a day we normally mark with some family fun I woke to find a message that had been left telling me my Grandmother had passed away.
Since then I have not quite felt myself, a mixture of guilt, hurt and the loss of a big influence in my life. Being half way around the world, I haven’t had a chance to say goodbye so wanted to share my memories of such an inspirational woman.
Nan was the one that gave me my name
It was because she had faith I would survive when I was born. She believed in me and was there when I needed her. I have fond memories of the early morning chat over a cuppa. She was such a strong woman, and had been through so much. Between her and my grandfather, they really gave me direction and helped shape me into the person I am today.
She would get stuck into anything, I think I get my crafty side from her. She was an inspirational woman, that gave so much support to her family. Her and my grandfather also loved travelling and the outdoors, taking a road trip around Australia more than once. I remember so many fun camping trips and fun outdoors with them.
Both my Nan and Pop had so much faith in me, they helped me find confidence in myself and showed me anything was possible. It is hard knowing now, that when I went to visit them before getting on the plane to come to the UK, it was the last time I would see them. Although we spoke on the phone over the years, I keep hoping she knew just how much she helped me become the person I am today.
I want to keep her memory alive.
I hate the thought that Dave, J and Ro would never get to meet her and have made a promise to myself that I will keep her and Pop’s memory alive by talking about them. We have Pop’s old Akubra hat with the added welding spot burns and Nan’s painting, these are a constant reminder than they are gone but always with me.
Nan, I couldn’t be there to say goodbye , but I want to wish you a fond farewell from the other side of the world. I wish the photo I took 15 years ago wasn’t the last time I seen you and you had the chance meet your great grandchildren. I hope you knew just how inspirational you are, how much you changed my life and how grateful I am for you being you.
You are and always will be loved. Rest well and be with Pop.